I just got off a plane, and, as you know, a full plane is a breeding ground chit-chat among complete strangers. I hate small talk to a degree that many would say is excessive. My strategy is simple: endure the chit-chat until the inevitable question arises, "So, what do you do?" My trusty answer, "I'm a logician," typically elicits nothing more than an "Oh," and then stops conversation cold.
The last few times I've used this tactic, though, it backfired: my interlocutor said something like, "How interesting. Could you explain what that involves?" Yuk. Today, though, it worked like a charm. After I claimed to be a logician, the woman next to me picked up Sky Mall, and "shopped" for the duration of the flight.
16 comments:
I tell the truth.
Finance.
10 out of 10 times the conversation is dead in the water.
ZERO chance of anybody asking what that entails.
But don't you run the risk of the person talking to you also being in finance?
I often get:
"So you are a teacher?"
and
"I have my own philosophy of life."
These two are the most annoying responses.
That's why saying "logician" is better-- no one wants to follow up on that. And the "I've got a philosophy for ya...." response is fucking annoying.
I have experimented with a few replies to that question. the best answer I have found is mailman
This is helpful food for thought. For so many years I've wanted to shut down the unbelievably tedious and stupid shit that follows after stating "I'm a philosopher" when people invariably ask what I do.
"Logician" is clearly effective.
Any ideas that I might find useful?
Spiros:
Sure I run the risk. But I'm compelled, for reason, other than my own insanity, that if, and when I do, the other person will not want to discuss further. And my guess would be either, they're burned out by the inanity of it all, or, simply by the way I dress. I don't dress like the typical financial slob, so I feel that they would think that I'm simply mocking them. Which I would be.
I hate small talk as much as Spiros, I bet. But telling people "I'm a philosopher" makes them quite uncomfortable, especially as it dawns on them that I'm not some starving jobless hippy. And making people uncomfortable is fun.
In reply to the typical follow-ups like, "Yeah, but what do you actually do?" I say something along the lines of "Publish books, travel around the world giving lectures, and take 3-4 months off every year."
imipolex:
Maybe it's my irresistible good looks and inviting demeanor, but whenever I've replied "I'm a philosopher," I've always gotten in reply some long, irrelevant, and uninformed chat about god and the meaning of life and quantum physics and how we're all one with the universe. Fuck that. "Logician" works better.
Bones:
"Mailman"??? That doesn't invite further chat?? Really?
hell bent:
You just like living dangerously....
729:
Try: "Dead languages"
Spiros:
"Mailman"??? That doesn't invite further chat?? Really?
Bones:
Not at all, I don't know if its a fear that i will snap or if they feel bad for me. The typical reply is just "Oh" and then change the subject or preferably they just walk away
Spiros:
"Mailman"??? That doesn't invite further chat?? Really?
Bones:
Not at all, I don't know if its a fear that i will snap or if they feel bad for me. The typical reply is just "Oh" and then change the subject or preferably they just walk away
I see! You should try "disgruntled mailman"!
My favorite used to be to say, "I am an exploiter of third world work forces to make the stuff you buy at Target or Wal-Mart for $6.99" Stops 'em cold every time, especially if you smile while saying it in a Vincent D'Onofrio in "Full Metal Jacket" kind of way. Ca't do that stuff on the China trips though as I can't afford to not get my visa from the PRC.
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